i was thinking of doing an appropriate review for 500 days of summer just like the ones i used to write here in this very blog before i got really really lazy and useless, but then i realized it might be better if i give the movie a second viewing before i go ahead and judge it. after all, it is possible that i might've been too hard on summer or that i might've been too in love with tom or whatever. i'm not sure. but i did have a small realization the other day regarding the film.

i guess everything boils down to expectations and reality. tom had certain expectations from summer just like i had certain expectations from the film. summer reminding tom that this is nothing is exactly like the narrator reminding me that this is not a love story. except that like tom, i didn't exactly listen, 

so, it's no longer the film's fault if i was left depressed after the film. just like it's no longer summer's fauly if tom was heartbroken. we were warned. we just didn't listen.

now, where's my autumn?

It's July 8. In less than a month, I start shooting. Jan asked me the other day why I don't look as panicked as I should be. I thought about it and replied, "Hindi ko alam." 

So, I've been completely obsessing over Freddie and Effy from Skins. Freddie, especially! And, as soon as I finished the final episode of Season 3, I knew I wanted to make a fan video. So, here it is! Unfortunately, I can't embed it due to copyright issues. Well, anyway, here's the link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBQP8dNMd-E

this meme is just an excuse to use this awesome icon. suprstarcarwash and i are icon twins! :D sorry was too lazy to use a cut. 

10 random songs (use shuffle): 

i got up at 730 today, and out of my own will, at that. amazing shit. can't remember the last time that happened. i am extremely careful about my body clock. when i don't have classes, i always wake up at 10.  sometimes, i oversleep for an hour, but that's it. i try not to take naps during the day, because that ruins it.

revolutionary road was definitely better the second time around. watching it in the cinemas helped a lot. plus, i shouldn't really watch movies when i'm seething mad. i end up thinking about other shit and not focusing on the film. 

notes on revo road:
1. it should've been nominated for best picture. 
2. leonardo di caprio should've been nominated for best actor. 
3. kate winslet's performance in the reader was more impressive. 
4. michael shannon was fucking amazing. 
5. the score is still playing in my head. 
6. it was extremely loyal to the book. 

my thesis is moving at a snail's pace. :| so, from now on, i'm gonna follow aaron katz's rules of scritpwriting.
1. write at least 10 pages everyday. no matter what. even if you're not in the mood. even if it's pointless.
2. don't look back on what you wrote. 
3. trust your instincts!

From IMDB: "A glimpse into the teenage wasteland of suburbia 1999 that takes place over 24-hours, and the teenagers who make their way through the last day of high school in the last year of the past millennium." 

It's like Dazed and Confused or American Graffiti or Can't Hardly Wait, so if you're into this type of shit, LIKE ME, because i am completely and utterly obsessed with movies like this, then GO AND WATCH IT! You will not be disappointed! As a whole, it really falls behind compared to Dazed and Confused, etc. It doesn't really have much of a point, doesn't really delve deeper into the minds of these young people and just continues to present them as drinking and smoking sexual beings, etc etc, so don't expect any profound bullshit about them as a generation because you won't be getting any. But fortunately, I , for one, don't care about shit like that. THOUGH i have to say that this, in my opinion, is the most hilarious out of all the films in this specific genre. 

saw some other films too, last week i think? or something like that. i forgot. 
CANDY - with Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish. They play a couple who are just as in love with heroin as they are with each other.  Self destructive romance ala Sid and Nancy. Awesome performance from Heath Ledger. Beautiful visuals. 

THE HEART IS DECEITFUL ABOVE ALL THINGS - a film by Asia Argento. Some disturbing shit. Felt sick and depressed after watching it. Don't think I'd want to watch it ever again. 

The sole reason why I watched this movie is because of Kevin Smith. Well, why else would I watch this?? Because of Ben Affleck? Hells no. So, first and foremost, I cannot believe Kevin Smith made this movie. Well, yes, there are still a lot of his elements in this movie, like, of course, Ben Affleck, the state of New Jersey, Liv Tyler working in a video store and references to pornography. But. other than that, I don't see anything original or heartfelt about this movie, even though as they say, this is probably his most personal film to date. This movie did have some good moments, but there were also a lot of forced moments and annoying, sappy background music. I could see there was some attempt to make this not your typical romcom, or even to go against that, but I think in the end, the director didn't know if he wanted to break or follow the formula.

I'm not really a huge Kevin Smith fan but I can say that I absolutely love Clerks and that he is truly  a big inspiration to me as a filmmaker. But, even if I try and not look at this movie as a Kevin Smith movie, but as like any other movie that any other person could have made, the point still remains: this movie is crap. 

I do admire Kevin Smith for making a chick flick such as this. That's the sign of a person who truly doesn't give a fuck what people think. Unfortunately, this one is not even a good chick flick, it's a bad one. And, though it's far from being the worst one out there, it's still bad. The story was predictable, it was forgettable and a lot of it just did not make sense, so yes, I think you guys could definitely go on living your lives without seeing this movie, and you wouldn't feel like you're missing anything life-changing. 

saw this last night, but didn't really know what to say after seeing it so i'm just posting this now. well, first of all, i downloaded this film because of emily blunt. i was able to watch the devil wears prada again during the break and since she was really quite brilliant in that, i decided to check out her other stuff. well, based from what i've read, this is supposedly her breakthrough role. so, if you like emily blunt, then you should definitely see this.

the truth is there's really a lot of stuff i want to say about this film but saying them here would completely spoil and ruin the movie for anyone who might want to see it. so, i don't know... you guys should see it though because i think you'll really realize or discover stuff about yourself, what kind of person you are, in terms of how you look at love and how much you trust people, shit like that. i'm sorry if it's pretty vague but i really hope someone sees this other than me so i could talk to someone about it. i'm not sure if i would recommend this to homosexual guys though, because there's some girl on girl action going on in here. but. i wouldn't say this is really about lesbian love, so i think everyone would be able to appreciate it. 

 i miss how things were in our Film 112 class. everyone was so full of ideas and supportive of each other and excited as hell to shoot and start making films. and, it didn't matter whether we had crazy ass ideas. no one discouraged us or judged us for it. even though, sometimes, we ended up making shitty films, it was okay, because we had absolute freedom to do whatever the fuck we wanted. and back then, we didn't know shit about how to make films, too, like how to frame our shots or which angle to shoot from, and it was great, because we just relied on our instincts. and, we didn't have money for lights or for any sort of equipment, so we used lamps and skateboards. that's what's filmmaking is all about, in my opinion. i think 112 was the height of my passion for filmmaking. of course, i'm still passionate about it, but those times, it was a different kind, different level of passion. it's like young love. crazy, fearless, juvenile, whatever.

now,teachers have taught us which lights to use, how to properly frame our shots, and yeah, of course our shit looks better that way or whatever, but i'm thinking, i sort of want to go old school for my thesis. i'm not gonna do stuff just because that's what they expect me to do or because it's what i was taught to do, and i don't care if it seems stupid or whatever. it shouldn't be something new for me. almost everything that i do, i do, partly, to rebel, anyway. it may not seem too obvious, and i don't really see myself as a particularly rebellious person, i'm actually pretty square, if you think about it, but it's true. so that's what i'll do. you gotta do what you gotta do.

"I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody." - Franny, 1955

"The trouble with my generation is that we all think we're fucking geniuses. Making something isn't good enough for us, and neither is selling something, or teaching something, or even just doing something: we have to be something." - JJ, 2005?

Well, apparently, this isn't just a generational thing. It's like this shit's been going on forever. Personally, I think it's all about leaving your mark in this world. Experiences for me are not important. Who cares if you've climbed a mountain or gone skinny dipping? You're gonna die anyway and you're not gonna remember any of that. And, you climbing a mountain or whatever is also not something that people are gonna remember you for. Unless the mountain that you climbed was like fucking Everest, but then again, a whole lot of people've already done that, so chances are you're still not gonna be well-remembered for that. Unless, you're mentally retarded or lost both your legs and still managed to climb the fucking thing. Now, that's something. But, if you're just an ordinary person, and you were not the first to do any of it, then yeah, no one's gonna remember you. 

But then again, who cares if you're really famous right now? If you're like Marilyn Monroe or Andy Warhol or whatever, because one day, a meteor will hit the Earth or whatever and we're all gonna explode and die and nobody's gonna fucking remember who Monroe or Warhol is. So I think the best thing to do is to just kill yourself. I would, but I don't have the balls to do so. Everything is fucking pointless. None of this is gonna matter. Unless you believe in God or in heaven or whatever. But, hey, I think fame is still something we should all strive to achieve. Who knows, maybe the Earth won't explode after all, especially with all this technology and shit. 

I think there's nothing wrong with thinking that you're a fucking genius. If you feel that you are, then own up to it. The truth is a real genius probably shouldn't be aware that he's a genius, because that's what makes him a genius. But, the thing is, I believe, that if you think you're a genius and you think about if for a long enough time, long enough to really convince yourself that you are one, and if you consistently keep on telling other people that you are one, then slowly, they're gonna start thinking  and believing that you're a motherfucking genius! I think that's how it works. You know, fake it 'til you make it. Of course there's a possibility you're gonna end up deranged and homeless somewhere, but I think it's a risk that's good enough to take. 

I think people back then were a whole lot happier because they all think they're such geniuses. Well of course, there's also slavery and other stupid shit, but you know, since so little has been done or discovered back then, they're always the first to invent and discover new stuff. It's so much harder these days because everything's been done, and people are so jaded, they don't get impressed or shocked anymore. 

"It is easy when you are young, to believe that what you desire is no less than what you deserve, to assume that if you want something badly enough, it is your God-given right to have it. When I decided to go to Alaska that April, like Chris McCandless, I was a raw youth who mistook passion for insight and acted according to an obscure, gap-ridden logic. I thought climbing the Devils Thumb would fix all that was wrong with my life. In the end, of course, it changed almost nothing. But I came to appreciate that mountains make poor receptacles for dreams. And I lived to tell my tale." -p.155, Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer

Jon Krakauer could easily have been talking about me. Clueless, stupid, young and naive, thinks she can get by with just mere passion, mere ambition. This part of the book was a lovely wake up call, a welcome slap to the face. I don't know why Into The Wild is having this really intense effect on me, when in fact I should hate it because it's this really phony and romanticized story of this nature guy Chris McCandless who thinks that he's so above materialism and all that wordly shit, but fuck it, i don't know, i love it! I love the whole thing! I don't understand it very much myself. Maybe it's because I can never do what he did, or maybe I'm really just an escapist son of a bitch. I don't know. We have something in common. I'm sure of it. But I don't know what exactly. I find these stories of freedom very fascinating, like Chris, like Lester Burnham, like Tyler Durden. Sometimes, I think freedom is underrated, because supposedly, freedom is having nothing to lose, but I mean, really, what's so fun about having nothing to lose? I don't know, maybe I'm getting it all wrong. 

so according to LJ, i have not posted anything in... three weeks? wow it's been that long. i haven't even fucking noticed. but yeah, my blog needs some serious revival but i don't know, i just don't feel like sharing these days, or these weeks, whatever. things are going pretty well, actually. i'm not particularly looking forward to school. russian, chemistry, anthropology, complete waste of fucking time, in my opinion, but yeah, you gotta do what you gotta do. i'm excited for my thesis but not really excited about the whole thesis class thing. i don't like having to share and explain my concept to a whole bunch of people who probably won't understand it anyway, and it's not their fault, it's just that i suck at explaining. and, this whole thesis proposal defense thing, fuck i don't wanna have to seek the approval of a bunch of professors, most of whom i don't give a fuck about anyway. i don't wanna have to defend my shit to a fucking panel wtf man, i don't get it. i hate shit like that. they're probably gonna want us to make "Filipino" films, like about poverty or social issues or whatever. i don't get why we should avoid Western influences. all our shit is influenced by the west anyway so we shouldn't pretend like we have our own identity, because we don't. so, if someone wants to do a serial killer movie or a sci-fi movie, then teachers should not discourage that person from doing so, and if someone wants to name his or her characters sean or amber or whatever and have them speaking constantly in English, then s/he should also be allowed to do so. teachers should not be able to tell us what films we can and cannot make, because that's bull shit. 

i've just finished question #1 of my Art Stud paper and I need a break. The question, by the way, was "How can the Internet enhance individuality?" Surprisingly, I did not have to use a lot of my pangcha-charot skillz(which i do not have a lot of, by the way) in order to answer that question since the topic was something very close to my heart anyway. And, so now, I'm doing my part in enhancing my individuality by writing this post.

The second question is not as easy, "What is post-modernism? How is this relevant to understanding the nature of art?" Heck, what the fuck do I know about post-modernism? The only thing that comes to my mind whenever I hear the word "post-modern" is "pastiche." Besides, there's no point in trying to find out, because before you know it, there's another movement going on, like post-post moden shit or some shit like that. Like, there's punk, there's post-punk, then there's post-punk revival. What the fuck. Well, at least it's evolving. So, the best thing to do is just to create a movement of your own, and just put "post-" before it. Like, the title of this post, which sounds cool but I have no idea what it means. Why can' the question be like "What is post-punk?" or "What is post-modern rock?" instead. Well, I still wouldn't know the answer, but at least I'd be more interested to find out.  

Aside from this, I have also been spending my break by googling photos of Mario Maurer. It's kind of embarrassing  though because people are passing by so once in a while I also open my WordPad window, just so people would think I'm at least doing something productive here and not just looking at photos of some hot guy. But, then, the WordPad window is embarrassing too, because WordPad is as grepa as a P35 meal from Meals to Go. Hopefully, they won't look too closely and they'll assume it's MS Word. Why do I assume that every person passing by is looking at my screen? No, they're not looking at you, they're probably just trying to take a peek of Erik Santos performing somewhere in the activity center. Other more interesting things are happening around you, you know. Don't be conceited. On the other hand, my screen is probably more interesting than Erik Santos performing. I'm hungry. I need to pee.